Friday, February 21, 2014

No Really, King One Eye Is More Not a Blog Than MOMN or IKN

You may have heard that Facebook is paying $19 billion for WhatsApp, a messaging app. What, $19 billion for a messaging app? you say. Who approved that deal? Coked-up Toronto mayor Rob Ford?

But then, smooth-talking internet gurus come along to explain that WhatsApp is not a mere messaging app. It is in fact a "proprietary, cross-platform message relaying system adapted for modern use for all major internet access devices."

No, it's nothing so old-fashioned as a simple messaging app. So sure, that must be worth $19 billion, right?

This prompted Otto at IKN to explain that IKN is not a blog. "Because blogs are old fashioned. No, IKN is in fact a proprietary, cross-platform message relaying system adapted for modern use for all major internet access devices."

Not to be out done, Iwnattos, the rabid sociopath and aficionado of questionable music behind My Own Market Narrative, revealed that Market Narrative is even more not a blog than IKN.  Because not only is it "a proprietary, cross-platform message relaying system adapted for modern use for all major internet access devices" but he has gifs of kittens on waterskis! 

And then Iwnattos threw down the gauntlet:

 "This blog presently generates over $20 a month in earnings; a monthly earnings growth of 20% (easily obtainable within the kitten gif submarket) would mean this blog will generate $6 billion/month profits after just nine years. Is that earnings potential, or what?
"IKN, by contrast, is only read by smelly geologists and floor traders: truly the apex and epitome of unsexy, its readership guarantees slow and inglorious death for any corporation who associates with it (e.g. Vena Resources, Focus Ventures, Minera IRL)."

 And Iwnattos closed with insults, some of which are so harsh they can't be taken back, starting with "Chavez-worshipping indigenous-people-sympathizing commie Bolivaran bastard."

Well, we could let these two cuckoo Kaiju rage against each other in futility. Or ...

I would like to point out that King One Eye is even more of not a blog than either of those two Nancy-boy pikers.

In fact, King One Eye is a SUPREME proprietary, cross-platform message relaying system adapted for QUANTUM use for all major internet access devices, including smartphones, mobile devices and Star Fleet subspace communicators, which allows instant and free access of contained information to the client and accessible via all major platforms, including Android, Apple iOS and Windows Phone.

And yes, even Blackberry if you're addicted to that hopelessly outdated platform. What else have you got? A steam-powered typewriter?  Jeez.

Back to my point, who needs kittens? I have arcane charts ... 

Wait! There's more. The Internet loves dogs, eh ...

And the Internet loves cats! And Boobs!

And the internet loves sexy ninjas ...

All that, and I even have Cthulu!

In the words of the great internet prophet, HP Lovecraft, "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

So, on King One Eye, you've got charts, dogs, cats, boobs, ninjas, eldritch horrors from beyond the abyss of time, and absolute gibberish that tops that of the other "not a blog" contenders.

In sum, this is NOT a blog, and certainly much less a blog than My Own Market Narrative or IKN.

So give me my damned $19 billion already.

Thank you. 


  1. Your "sexy ninja" has fat thighs and you mis-spelled Cthulhu. Also, Mila Kunis reads my blog and not yours.

    In summary, your blog sucks.